Friday, March 09, 2007

right about the time

i started getting excited about the 2007 race season, it's over. there just isn't any way i can race in the next 4 to 6 weeks because of the ribs. add that to the frustration of yet another set back, and i feel like i should wait for 2008.

this may sound premature to some, but i'm tired. i'm tired of fighting circumstance. let's see...

july 2004, crash into tree, break 8 ribs, my scapula, and a 2nd degree shoulder separation.

december 2004, stupid crash at greensfelder, broken leg.

january 2005, hurt back, mom died, started dealings with mom's estate, issues with family.

planned for wedding, got married, bought new house, started renovating mom's house in 2005.

2006, poops was born, worked on mom's house, got new job, had breathing issues.

2007, still breathing issues, pneumonia, broken ribs, poops still not sleeping full nights...

i know, it's all whining on my part. lots of people do lots more than i do and still have time to excel in sports. i guess i'm just not equipped to do it all. i suppose i don't get the most out of my riding when i'm stressed, and that stresses me more. it's a downward spiral that just gets worse. i want to be happy guy when i come home to the family, not stressed guy. i think they deserve more than that from me.

that's ok. i look at guys like paul krewet, john matthews, steve caspar. russ murphy...all older than me, and all have taken time away and still they amaze me with their abilities. hell, dan schmatz was out of racing for years before he began to race on the road in 2001. look at him now. for some reason, i have always felt that if i gave in and quit for a season, i'd never come back. that was childish thinking. more adult thinking would say that i don't want to keep racing when i'm not able to do well. this situation might make me hate it. i hated bmx racing when i quit. funny thing was, as soon as i quit trying to be good at it, it became more fun.

right now, i love riding and racing. i want to keep it that way. i don't have to win, but i need be able to be as good as i can be or it's not satisfying. i don't mean putting my family and work aside and training like a college kid, but putting in dedicated miles and following my legendary training schedules, which i haven't done for years.

i'm sure there is another 28 years of racing waiting for me on the other side of 2007, and consequently, another 28 years of complaining about it.

1 comment:

Paul said...

I'm sorry to hear this. if antibiotics aren't cutting it, maybe you have a mold/fungus problem. Search Candida online and see if the symptoms fit. My daughter had a cough for months and we finally figured it out. don't give in to this-FIGHT,like I know you can. When you come through this you will be stronger. Remember, anybody can win the race with the best horse.