Good Versus Evil. Or, How my Brain Works

Since I was a little guy (like maybe 8 years old), I've always thought of winter as "The Bad Guy" and summer as "The Good Guy." Think Lex Luther and Superman. Clubber Lang and Rocky. Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. Steve Dallas and Opus.  You get the picture. Winter has always kept me from living my best life. It's cold. It's dark. I like warmth, endless sunshine, and dry ground. 

In my early teens, snow would really put a damper on riding my BMX bike. I would gather the hearty and gullible souls that I called my friends and we'd meet at the Maplewood K-Mart.  It had a really musty underground parking garage and we'd fly around the cars and support posts, having mapped out race courses. That lasted until the cops kicked us out or my fingers froze.

At times I would wait to see that the snow plows had cleared a small sliver of pavement in front of my house so that I could jump on the bike and do sprints up and down the hill until my fingers froze. 

Once I got a little older and began to ride mountain bikes, I would go ride the snow covered trails. It's always so quiet in the woods, and the trails would be empty so I would have them to myself. There were drawbacks. Like ice forming on the derailleurs or my water bottle. And sliding out on black ice was a bit of a stunner, too. Of course, it wouldn't be long until my fingers froze and I'd pile my ice-encrusted bike into the car and go home.

As a full-on adult, "The Bad Guy" still kills my riding buzz, but there are SO many more ways it can ruin my day. Scraping ice off of windshields is very high on my buzz-kill meter. Shoveling walkways, driveways, and now the South Side parking lot. When does this madness end? And how quickly do you think my fingers freeze while I'm shoveling?

All I can think of when I see temps hovering in the teens is: "Where are the good guys? Where are you, Opus??"

At least these days there are better alternatives to indoor riding and training. Which is good, because the K-Mart parking garage was demolished a long, long time ago.

Times Have Changed for Indoor Training

 So picture this: 

A bicycle mounted in a trainer. 

That's all I used to use for my first 5 years of  training on an indoor trainer. 1989. No music. No TV. No nuthin'. Just me. My bike. And the trainer. We called them Turbo Trainers in those days.

Things started to change. I started using a CD player with some hardcore songs (Hey Chris and EJ, remember Korn and Def Tones in the 90's?). I'd regularly get together with some other freaks and we'd do some harsh indoor workouts, rockin' out to some really heavy stuff. Oh, and we started using box fans, too. Unless we worked out in one of the guys basements that were so cold that we would start with light jackets on and shed them when we finally warmed up.

Even when we moved into my current house 17 years ago, I still used that formula. My basement wasn't THAT cold so I mounted a fan and just went for it. 

At some point I decided I needed more. I had an old VHS player and a small TV, so I picked up some Tour de France videos. I never bought too many, so I watched the same ones, over and over and over. I usually got the long ones, with every stage, but I bet I only had 4, maybe 5 tapes. Then came my really "advanced" TV with a DVD player. That rendered my old VHS tapes obsolete, so I bought a few DVD's.  You guessed it, more Tour de France DVD's.

It wasn't until 2 years ago that we got a smart TV in the basement and I was able to watch WHATEVER I wanted while grinding away on the trainer. It's not like I depend on the screen to keep me motivated...on the contrary, it keeps me distracted. I love watching World Cup mountain biking, but the Elite level cyclocross stuff is a perfect hour and frames my trainer time perfectly. 

I still use my Garmin computer and Garmin power pedals, along with a heart rate monitor. I don't use Zwift or any of the online interactive apps, although Deanna and Eli do. We also have a smart trainer that we hook their bikes up to. No way would I expect them to go my old-school route.

My current set-up is my 2001 Schwinn Fastback and a 10 year old Cyclops Fluid trainer. And of course, a box fan and a smart TV. Don't laugh at the flea-bitten trainer mat...it's older than a lot of you.

I have seen the light. If I'm going to spend time riding indoors, it's going to be productive and I'm not going to suffer under a dim light bulb staring at a concrete wall. Winter 2023/2024...I might even try the smart trainer!!

Confessional - My Cold Weather Riding Ritual

I thought it might be fun (and cathartic) to just lay it all out there when it comes to me, riding in cold weather. It's no secret...no secret AT ALL that I don't like the cold. Most winters, I ride a lot off-road because the effort is high and speeds are low. That helps keep me warm. Every now and then, I ride on the road when it's cold. Brrr. I chose to ride on the road today, and this was my strategy, and the results.

I have to start off with something extremely warm for my feet. Bad circulation, maybe? I don't know. But my feet get cold just hanging around the house so I have to make this part count. When I ride off-road, I have some warm winter cycling boots. They don't work on the road, so I have to use shoe covers like these for my road shoes. These bad boys are pretty thick neoprene, and I duct taped the breathing holes on the bottom of my shoes.  Had to be a good combo, right??

Result: Toes got cold.

My hands are a whole different thing. My hands are cold in the summer. Bad circulation, maybe? Can't tell you. But I have to use the warmest thing I can find, on or off road.  These have a wind barrier, and thermal layers inside. Bulkier than I'd like, but not terribly bulky.

Result: Fingers got cold.

My head isn't covered in hair. It used to be, but whatever. Now it's not. So this skull cap is a vital part of my winter riding. It covers the baldness plus my ears and it fits really well under my normal helmet. 

Result: Bald head stayed reasonably warm

I'm a big fan of Craft base layers. I'm embarrassed to say I have some 10-year old versions that I still wear. This is a newer one and it's thin and very form fitting, so it wears well under whatever layer I put on over it. 

Result: warm, except for the failure of the layer I wore over it

I'm going to give my beloved Pearl Izumi jacket a pass. Even though the wind was ripping through this wind-proof and thermal jacket, I'm not going to hate on it. It's TEN YEARS OLD. I just noticed today, when I got back from my windy, cold ride that there are very small perforations ALL OVER this thing! Like, moths have been eating at it. I should have noticed that. And the zipper is getting wonky too.

Result: wind-proof and thermal jacket was neither wind-proof nor thermal

The pride and joy of my winter collection is my very old Castelli thermal bib tights. High quality pad coupled with a fit that feels custom made. They were gifted to me because I could never afford them. But similar to my trusty old Pearl jacket, these are 10 years old. Today, they showed their age in dog years. They still fit well, though!

Result: wind-proof and thermal tights were neither wind-proof nor thermal

Ah, my old clear Tifosi glasses. Naturally, my eyes water in the cold like I just watched the last scene in Titanic. I've found that tears on my frozen face feel terrible. So even though I can hardly wear glasses when I ride due to excessive sweating, I can wear them for a while on winter rides. I have many pairs of glasses, this one just happens to have drawn winter duty for the last few years. Lucky glasses?

Result: eyes only watered a little, despite the wind

Even though it sounds like my winter riding is a real dumpster fire, I'd say it's still a must to get off of the indoor trainer and get outside whenever possible. I've logged some hours inside this winter, but I am lucky enough to have gotten off-road a few times, and unlucky enough to have ridden when it's butt-ass cold. Some of my problems are due to stubbornness (hanging on to pathetic and tattered pieces of under-performing winter wear), and some are due to defective body parts (hands, feet). A cyclist must do what a cyclist must do, I suppose.