Tuesday, March 04, 2008

driving in the snow

by now we've all been beaten to death by the 'round the clock coverage of the little winter storm we got today. besides driving my suicidal tendencies closer to the surface, the snow served to point out a very basic fact...

driving in the snow is rocket science for most st. louisans.

that's not to say that i believe that i am any type of good driver. anyone who witnessed my wedding day folly will attest to my own driving issues. but, after sitting in traffic for 2 and a half hours today on the way to work, i sure as hell think i'm better than these jokers.

facts:

1. snow will make drivers of every other type of vehicle very familiar with mustangs and camaros.

2. if you are sitting in traffic behind a long line of cars, the cause of your wait will make you a believer in fact #1.

3. suv's with 4wd/awd are very adept at going forward in snow.

4. the laws of physics still apply and cannot be repealed for drivers in suv's.

5. suv drivers sliding into other cars or careening into ditches wish that fact #3 hadn't lulled them into a false sense of security causing them to forget about fact #4.

6. squinting does not improve visibility while driving a car with one gun slit chopped out of the ice on the windshield, removing more ice will.

7. if the car doesn't go forward when you give it gas, giving it more gas and sawing at the steering wheel like a lumberjack won't help matters. but, it will land you in the ditch faster.

8. 18 wheelers carrying tons of heavy equipment don't get up (or down!) the hills on hwy 40 very well.

9. traction control does not automatically make a car a great snow car. it controls traction, and to control traction you have to have SOME traction.

10. snow plows can't plow the snow from the road WHILE YOU ARE SITTING IN A TRAFFIC JAM, ON TOP OF THE ROAD THEY ARE TRYING TO PLOW.

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