Sunday, January 25, 2009

helping a brother out

my friend chris has been looking for a new vehicle to replace his jacked up jeep cherokee. he has some needs, so not just any whip will do. realistically, he needs to contact pixar and enlist fillmore.
since fillmore is a cartoon character, he may consider something like this. versatile with a commanding view, he may be dismayed by the lack of weather protection. but, he IS an outdoorsman, after all.

the tried and true hippie school bus is always an option. littered across the united states, abandoned school buses can be festooned with any number of cliche motifs. this one may fly directly into the face of his grizzly bear hunting philosophy, however. and i do worry about access to those remote fishing areas with a 60 foot vehicle.

probably the most reliable way to get those vw vans around, the short bus converted to a vw escort is again an intriguing idea. gas mileage may vary wildly, depending on the amount of highway driving versus wilderness crawling.

for snow, and we know he does his thing in the snow, wide soft tires are just the thing. whether it's chasing that odd snow bound mtn bike race, or finding that frozen fishing hole, this bad boy could be the ticket. there is, however, no seating for bohdi or dharma, and he could forget about bringing his wife along. spare parts may be in short supply.

we have known that chris is definitely into autos, and this testarossatank might be THE way to combine his love of high performance cars with his penchant for all-weather duty. finding a donor car might be a tad expensive, however, unless rich investors could be found that share his diverse, eclectic tastes.

adventure could be just around the corner with this rolling fixer upper. pretty much no place couldn't be called home, since, well, you ARE home. i worry about mileage, though. and that strange man like creature on the back porch could spell trouble.

in the end, with the absence of fillmore being a real vehicle, i think the continental off-road express may be the only way for chris to go. smoove luxury, a commanding view, room for dogs, bikes and the wife...we may be in heaven. prices are sure to be reasonable in these trying economic times, as well.
ok, chris, start negotiating!


Anonymous said...

I'm not exactly sure what to say. I think I like that fixxer upper the best though. Heather could drive while I sit on the backporch drinkin ripple.

Dan Schmatz said...

wouldn't the redneck ride need to be a vette?