i went mtn biking with some of the fellas from the shop this morning. we met up at the 'wood and pedaled around a bit. we had along a couple of young'uns, so we would stop at regular intervals (usually the tops of the hills) and wait. it was fun, but not that fun. again, i was hurting just pedaling easy. my muscles ache and burn at the slightest sign of stress, and it sucks.
and i got stung by something on the thigh. it hurt. now the area is all red and puffy and it stings. i took some benadryl. i hope it wasn't a flesh-eating insect. i'd hate to have all kinds of skin necrosis going on when i wake up tomorrow. so, yes, i'm a sissy.
at this moment i'd have to say that my 2006 racing season is over.
i don't want it to be over. i really tried hard at the beginning of the season, before pooper was born. i started doing pretty well, then the bottom fell out. i feel like i just woke up all day long. i figured it was my asthma getting worse because my breathing was so labored and difficult. but, now as time has gone on, i realize that whatever problems i have with the old injury and breathing problems are just exacerbated by this chronic fatigue.
maybe that's it, chronic fatigue syndrome. but, i feel that is a copout. oh, not feeling good? must have a virus. must be sick. must be tired, not enough sleep, too much stress, yada, yada, yada. i always tell everyone that i hate excuses, and i do. still, i find myself making the excuses.
i need to know why i feel like this. every pedal stroke on my bike is agony. every time i lift the trash bag out of the trash can and walk it out to the garbage, i'm spent. it makes me irritable and crabby...and i'm already irratible and crabby to begin with.
the season has to be over, not because i hate to lose, but because it's just to painful to continue. and that's not fun. (and yes, i do hate to lose!) this whole bike racing thing was supposed to be fun. i hate to end it now, because the kids love to watch me race, win or lose, and it's so nice to have all that support. it's tough because i'm not just racing for me, i'm racing for us...but we're not doing so good.