Happy Father's Day to Me!

The day started off like most days, except it was better than most days. My favorite daughter Hanna (star of Fitness in the Fast Lane) had clandestinely deposited a suspicious bag in my bedroom. I assumed it was for Father's Day, but who knew it would contain such wonders? Snacks! And some creepy mouth tape to keep me from snoring. Thanks honey!

Next up was a large, heavy cardboard box. The Beautiful Mrs. K had ordered up a gift for me that every yard freak covets. The cordless weed whacker with the battery the size of George's block of cheese! No way I'm running out of juice before all the weeds have been sufficiently whacked. 

Eli came up with something that was on the one hand a Father's Day gift, and on the other had a big middle finger to Mrs. K and I for taking him on long hikes as a kid. We used to tell him they were only a mile or two and they'd end up being 4 or 5. And I usually forgot to bring water and snacks. So today our 53 mile ride with a gas station stop "right up here" turned out to be a 67 miles ride with a gas station stop just before Mrs. K went Hulk-on-Loki on Eli. It was a brilliant ride, nonetheless, capping off my longest week in years.

And I was able to spend 40 of the 67 miles riding on a Rice Crispy Treat wrapper that was plugging the massive gash in my Corsa Pro. I ran over a piece of glass the size of a golf ball. Thump-thump-thump-thump went the bulge. I kept letting more air out of it as the hole expanded, each time getting a little less thumping. Until it expanded again and the thumping reached a fever pitch. I ended the ride at around 30psi. Rice Crispy Treat wrapper still holding at the time of this writing.  


 

From Tiny Things

In April of 2020, Remi barged into our lives as a tiny tyrant. He was so noisy.  He grumbled and growled and moaned and groaned all the time. Even in his sleep. I thought he might be in pain or something, but he was just very vocal. Notice how his head comes up just barely over where a pair of gardening boots might fit on The Beautiful Mrs. K's leg. 

And in April of 2025, here he is, guarding Mrs. K's gardening boot. He's playing a game here to get her to come outside and chase him. At 90 pounds he still moans and groans a little, not like he did as a pup. These days, I'd have to rate his bark as the loudest I've ever heard from a dog. Google says the loudest dog bard ever is 113dB and my ears say Rem might be close.
 

MTB racing, iPhones, and Hound Dogs

For three years running, we've loaded up for the Iron Mountain MTB race in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. (Does anyone else feel like Arkansas just kind of ran out of names for towns, so they just started joining existing names and going with it?) This year, we had a larger group show up, about a third of the South Side XC Devo team. Isaac and Eli went One/Two again in Cat 1, and we had 5 other top tens in the Cat 2 fields. It was awesome! The red/white/black Devo's were everywhere!

Great pic of Eli, taken by one of the Devo parents. It was not an official race on the calendar for the team, but we talked it up a lot. We had the big tent, screaming parents, and bottle hand-ups that would make the pros envious. 

No fault of the photographer, but I don't look quite as awesome on a bike as Eli. But I'm 58 dammit and I'm still racing bikes....

...and I got a second place in the old guy Cat 1 class! And I was the second-oldest, believe it or not. 

Speaking of old. My iPhone turned 6. The case is 6 years old, too. Parts of it have broken off, kind of like an 80's car, only with fuel injection and no ash tray. Still charges fine. Won't get reception if I leave my street. I just hold it up really high and walk in circles until I get a bar or two.

And then there is the Hound Dog. You see that brown? That would be green grass, like the rest of the yard. But this monster has beaten a path straight down the center chasing squirrels and birds. 10 times a day, every day. And he loves me for playing Frisbee with him. Which beats down the grass even more. 

Hound Dog turns FIVE this year!

My big baby turns 5 years old this year. He is the biggest kid I know. Always up for chasing squirrels, barking at the wind, and endlessly catching Frisbees! 

I never thought I'd have a dog this big. Or this loud. But he's one of a kind and I don't know what I'd do without him. Probably sleep a lot better. And sweep up less hair. And I'd have grass in the back yard instead of a vast wasteland. But I'd rather have 90 pounds of pure Remi.

 

Home Made Toaster Pastries - What?

Oh yeah, You read the headline correctly. Except I call them all Pop-Tarts. But who knows who might get their corporate panties in a bunch if I called Hanna's block-busting creations Pop-Tarts on this world famous blog? I'm not sure I care, but someone might. Bunched panties aside, I am smitten by these things. I could eat all of them, but I was relegated to one because of a pesky concept called "sharing".  

Well, Hanna heard my pleas for more home made goodness. At no point could Kellogg's (now Kellanova?) make something this earth-shatteringly good. At least nothing that could be packaged and sold for $2.99 at your favorite grocer. I asked Hanna when I could expect my weekly deliveries of these things, but we will have to see how it all pans out. You know, job, Fitness in the Fastlane, social life, they would all have to be put on hold if I'm to get as many of these as I want. Oh well. 

Don't feel sorry for the Hound Dog because he doesn't get home made Pop-tarts. He sleeps on Egyptian Cotton sheets, after all. 


 

Spiders own the World

A few times a week, I take a Swifter and go around the fixtures in the store. Every single time, I scoop up these little spider webs. Sometimes I'll do it two days in a row. It's easiest in the morning when the bright sun lights the little webs up like white threads. 

No joke, it's constant. These spiders are relentless. They can build their traps for unsuspecting insects like miniature railroad workers. How? I never even see them. Where are they? I see the webs, but I never see the spiders themselves. They only leave behind the evidence.

The last thing I want to do is destroy their hard work. Really. But I also don't want an early morning customer thinking that we are negligent in our cleaning processes. Because what's next? "If they don't clean up the spider webs, maybe they don't build the bikes right!" Can't have that. 

In conclusion, if you see spider webs in the store, say something. I have a cabinet full of Swifters standing at the ready. And we did build the bike right. 


 

Happy Birthday HGK

The years are closing in on you! A quarter century! 25 years! Better start drawing up the last will and testament! The broom wagon is right behind you!

All kidding aside, the years have been kind to my eldest child. 25 years ago today we turned off the Rams Superbowl game at half-time to grab this one out of the oven. (Not a football fan, but we did win, so there is that)

Talk about a super-successful person. This one has been writing her own ticket for a couple years now. Even the side gig is no longer a side gig. Fitness in the Fastlane is a total expression of her and what can be accomplished with some grit and attitude. I'm very proud. Her first 25 years have been a smash hit, no telling what the next 25 years can bring. I love you, Hanna!